My Stories
Hover over a card to peek inside. Click "Read more" for the full tale.
The Great Sunbeam Heist
I found the perfect spot. They tried to move me. They failed.
"Every morning at 9:47am, the golden beam comes through the east window. I've mapped it precisely. I have a schedule."
My First Bath (And My Last)
Water is the enemy. I've documented my findings.
"The human thought this would be 'fun.' I have submitted a formal complaint to the relevant authorities."
An Ode to the Cardboard Box
They spent £40 on a cat bed. I chose correctly.
"The box arrived on a Tuesday. By Wednesday, it was home. By Thursday, it was an institution."
Chasing Shadows: A Memoir
The dot on the wall started it. I finished it.
"I am not ashamed. The dot needed to be caught. That is all. The fact that it is still free is a logistical matter I am addressing."
Napping: Advanced Techniques
After years of research, I share my findings.
"Position One: The Pretzel. Position Two: The Dramatic Collapse. Position Three: The Invisible Cat. All proprietary."
The Day the Vacuum Arrived
A memoir of survival, courage, and hiding under the bed.
"It came without warning. It always does. I retreated to my fortress. I am not a coward. I am strategic."
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I read every comment. Mostly between naps, but I read them.